Homemade Crackers (Fail)

Pie crust, masquerading as cheese crackers. Nope.
I've been collecting Pins of beautiful looking homemade crackers, flatbreads and crisps that I wanted to try making. I'm totally obsessed with artisan Sea Salt Firehook Crackers, but the simple ingredient list and the $8 price tag had me wondering if I could make my own.

As I began to amass ideas for homemade crackers, I thought now would be a great time to give it a go. I've started to eliminate junk snacks from our cupboards, but as they become more empty each day, the family is coming around staring into the abyss, looking for a salty crunch.

I hate to admit it, but Cheez-It crackers are the very favorite, and probably the least healthy snack we keep around. Therefore,  I started with a recipe for DIY Cheez-It. You basically throw some cold butter, flour, water, salt and cheese in a processor and make a dough ball to roll out. Wait a minute... what? That's just pie crust - with cheese in it! If you know me, you know that I happen to be a TERRIBLE pie crust maker. Rolling out this rich cheesy pie crust this fake "Cheez-It" dough was no picnic for me and my TERRIBLE pie crust skills. Also, nobody was fooled. So, SO NOT Cheez-It's.

Homemade chickpea crackers... meh.

I already had all the equipment (food processor, rolling pin, flour, parchment paper) out and the oven on. So I figured I'd try the chickpea flour "tortilla chips" recipe, since I keep that (besan) around for Indian recipes. First of all, SO NOT tortilla chips. Apparently a bunch of people tried this pin with great results, rave reviews, but to me they just tasted like a bland version of the Indian snacks we get from family sometimes. I'm sure some of my chip fail has to do with my complete inability to manage a rolling pin, as the directions were "roll it out super super thin" or it won't be crispy. For an artist, seamstress, and a darn good cook, I'm really really TERRIBLE rolling out dough. Did I mention that?

Out of the tortilla chips that get your picky kid to eat healthy avocado? Try homemade chickpea tortilla chips... NOT!!

Ok, ok, so they weren't THAT bad. They were cute, right? But seriously, no one is eating them. The next day, I raided the "healthy chips" section of Target and found some really good compromises. Chickpea "chips" with guacamole for my 5 year old? No way. Way Better Snacks Sweet Potato Tortilla Chips with Chia seeds were accepted as edible, and the adults really really like them.

Moral of the story? $8 artisan crackers and fancy organic bags of chips are SO worth it. Challenge abandoned!



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